XV and I had been looking forward to this weekend for a while. The plan, in a nutshell, was to go to the opening of Tavernita, faux-celeb chef Ryan Poli’s new joint, and follow that up with a trip to Ruxbin with Mags Bennett and her husband the next night. We had never been to Ruxbin, but the accolades (Michelin, Yelp, Esquire, etc.) and word of mouth hype that has been going around has had it at the top of our list for quite some time. Couple that with the hype of a downtown restaurant opening and we had our culinary game faces on.
Friday night’s reservation at Tavernita was for a respectable 8:45. I always feel like eating downtown should be more New York than Chicago, i.e. reservations should seldom happen before 8:30. There’s just something romantically inspiring about being out in the cold of the city having drinks and dinner later at night on a weekend. Anyways, we arrived on time and found street parking on LaSalle Street not more than 150 feet from the door. A nice score considering we avoided the $12 for the valet and didn’t have to walk too far in the freezing cold. Tavernita is located on the corner of LaSalle and Erie in the old Martini Park space. Before you go getting bitter beer face thinking about all your old memories at MP, let me assure you that Tavernita is nothing like its predecessor; and that goes for the atmosphere, ambiance, food, and crowd.
Before I go any further in this review, I have to inform my gentle readers of my particular bias towards Tavernita and its chef. Chef Ryan Poli is a douchemonster of the first order, and he has been known to be associated with some of the city’s most reprehensible socialistas. Basically, his crew are a bunch of know nothing, meatheady douchebags and sorta slutty chicks who love to go around and play Sex and the City on Hubbard Street. Putting it plainly, these people, by and large, are a bunch of cubicle jockeying middle managers with low levels of education and even lower levels of pedigree. I’ve had a few run ins with the male members of his group, which have almost always resulted in insults being thrown (punches at Paris Club over the summer), and have also had a few run ins with the female members of his group, as well. None of these encounters particularly endeared me to their group in any way, shape, or form. In fact, the result was quite the opposite as I genuinely developed a deep seeded disgust of the entire group of dingleberry dickfaces, both male and female.
Back to the review…….The renovated space is interesting, at best, unmanageably open and neglectful at worst. Dim Southwestern lighting meets even more dimly lit Catalonian motifs which sets the tone for a Spanishesque tavern and wine bar desperately trying to be cool and edgy. Imagine Mercadito, only the Spanish wine bar version with a lot of strange wasted table spaces that sit uncomfortably vacant. A bar and lounge area towards the front of the restaurant (LaSalle Street side) had yet to open, and its tall glass doors which open to the street and sidewalk look like they will make for a lively and fun midday or early evening drinking spot come summer. Unfortunately, it’s the dead of winter not the peak of summer. Needless to say, we were seated around 9:15 and offered a round of drinks for our wait, which was a nice touch considering I was drinking a $25 glass of McAllan 18.
By the time we sat down we were ready to order. We started simple with an order of Hamachi crudo, and Pork Belly Bocadillos. The hamachi came out simply prepared with a little picked jalapeno, avocado and lime and was absolutely delicious. The buttery hamachi paired perfectly with the spice of the jalapeno and the cool lime and avo. Almost as soon as we had finished, the bocadillos came out. Two small brioche buns topped with deliciously cooked pieces of pork belly, apple jam, arugula, and pickled onions made for an amazing little snack. Both the hamachi and the bocadillos were small in size, but they made up for their seemingly tiny plating with giant flavors and deeply rich undertones. All in all, the start of the meal was a pleasant surprise.
After finishing our small plates we ordered a carafe of Catalonia red, and placed the order for our main courses; Greg’s Meatballs, Artichoke Salad, Brussel Sprouts, and Scallops. Tavernita has an interesting beverage program, reminiscent of its Mercadito heritage, but with a European twist. Much like Mercadito, Tavernita’s cocktail list focuses heavily on mescal, tequila, and vodka without paying too much attention to the more mixable spirits that have come into popularity recently, like whisky/bourbon and gin. Since I’m not a vodka or tequila drinker and XV was nursing the backend of a light flu, we opted for wine with dinner. Tavernita has barreled wine, which means basically that when you order a bottle, the wine comes poured from a tap into a reusable bottle. It seems completely bourgouis in principle, but the wine we ordered was both delicious and affordable and made us forget about the giant keg below the restaurant that pumped our bottle out of a tap.
First to come out of the kitchen was the Artichoke Salad, and of all the dishes that we ordered I was probably most excited about this one. Sadly, it fell flat on its face. You could barely get any hint of artichoke and the salad was dominated by sea salt and heavy flavors from the blue cheese. After a few bites my teeth hurt and my lips were parched, a feeling somewhat akin to gnawing on a piece of blue cheese beef jerky. Thankfully though, the memory of the salad was quickly erased by the delicious plate of meatballs that followed. Greg’s Meatballs, named ostensibly, after one of Poli’s chefs, are made with a combination of wagyu beef and pork, and come with a creamy romesco sauce topped with panko cracklins. Considering meatballs hardly fit on a Spanish inspired menu, these stood as a shining star in spite of their somewhat peculiar menu inclusion. The meatballs were perfectly fork tender, super rich, and contained just a hint of spice to give them enough bite to offset their richness. Simply put, they were absolutely fantastic.
Next up were the Scallops which were a complete dud. The scallops themselves were delicious; however the accompaniments were downright disgusting and made us wonder how a team of accomplished (embarrassing national T.V. loss to a housewife on Rocco’s Dinner Party notwithstanding) chefs could pick such an unusual smattering of flavors to pair with a scallop. Served with celery, grapes, almonds, olive oil croutons, and ajo blanco the dish ended up tasting like a terrible version of a Spanish scallop salad. The buttery hot scallops were run completely afoul by the inclusion of grapes, olive oil, celery and almonds, all items which can be found in a Waldorf Salad. XV aptly described this dish in one simple word, sickitating.
The Brussel Sprouts were supposed to be up next, but it was 10:45 and they were nowhere in sight. The waiter assured me he put them in when we ordered them, but lets face it, there is no fuckin way Brussel Sprouts take 45 minutes to cook. Full from the other dishes and not wanting to eat a side dish all by itself, we cancelled the order before it got to the table and opted to get a bill instead. Our flamingly gay, yet attentive, waiter was seen off in the distance explaining the situation to Poli, who after a glance over at our table bowed out of the situation altogether, opting to take the Sprouts off the bill rather than come over and gladhand us about the issue as many Chef’s do on opening night. Could it be because he recognized us and knew that we despise his crew of friends? Or perhaps it was because he didn’t care? Either way it didn’t matter, as in general the meal was pretty good and I doubt I would have bothered to mention any of the lows of the dining experience should he have come to the table.
The bill came out to about $85 without tip and drinks (they picked up our bottle of wine because of the wait) which XV and I both agreed was pretty reasonable a price for a weekend dinner out downtown. Overall, there were a few misses on the night, but the hits far outshined the misses. Considering we both went in wanting to hate everything about the place, the fact that we came out giving it mostly positive reviews should speak volumes as to the quality of some of the dishes we ate. While I don’t think Tavernita is on par with similar restaurants like Avec and Publican, I do think it has a lot going for it and once summer comes around and the windows and doors can be opened it will definitely be a place to visit again. Overall I give Tavernita a healthy 2 ½ stars out of 4.
